


Love is Fine

by innerboo



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 19:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13577832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innerboo/pseuds/innerboo
Summary: Jaffar doesn't understand the nuances of consent, and Matthew feels guilty.-Dread Isle spoilers.





	Love is Fine

He felt his hair stick up on his neck. His eyes scanned the area, until he spotted behind him a blur.

Jaffar jumped forward, and looked behind him. He saw Matthew, holding a knife in the place where he had been standing.

Jaffar ran behind Matthew. He knocked the knife from his hands, and held him tight. He could feel Matthew fight his hold, but ultimately give up.

Jaffar felt Matthew in his arms. The warmth reminded him of Nino. The girl who made him feel the first time. He wondered if Leila had made Matthew feel, made him warm.

He stole that warmth.

"What?" Matthew said, confused at being let go, his anger subsiding for a moment.

"I'm sorry," Jaffar said.

Matthew stared at Jaffar. Jaffar had his knife. There was no use trying now. All he could do now was listen to what the killer had to say.

"I have not experienced your pain, and I won't pretend I have. But I know the feeling of light and warmth. And I took it away from you."

Jaffar held Matthew's knife to his neck.

"If this is what you want, then—"

Matthew knocked the knife from Jaffar's hand. A silence passed between them, before Matthew started chuckling.

"I heard her, and she—" Matthew collapsed. He was trying to use his cape to muffle his tears. Jaffar kneeled down before Matthew, surprised when Matthew hugged him. Jaffar made circles on his back, as Matthew held on tighter.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

Jaffar closed his eyes. He remembered vividly the harsh beating of Matthew's heart. The smoothness of Matthew's skin made Jaffar burn just by thinking about it. He wanted to feel that again.

Jaffar was torn from his thoughts by the sound of crying. He knew this one well. Jaffar ran into Matthew's tent. Matthew was pacing back and forth, whispering apologies in between sobs. He froze when he saw Jaffar.

Jaffar crossed the distance, and hugged Matthew. He wasn't sure if it was for Matthew's sake. He craved the contact, so he took it. Guilt of taking advantage of the situation was pushed down by pleasure.

Matthew hugged back, and buried his face into Jaffar's neck. Jaffar's guilt grew as he felt his heart beat faster. He couldn't empathize with Matthew's sadness, he realized. He only felt the comfort.

He had never experienced sadness before. He had never cried, never grieved. It explained why he could only think of the comforting part of this situation. He wasn't able to relate.

Jaffar pulled Matthew's shirt over his head. If he couldn't feel his sadness, he would focus on something else.

Jaffar dragged his fingertips on Matthew's bare back. He pressed their chests together and took deep breaths. He felt Matthew calm with the pressure, and shiver a little when Jaffar breathed out.

"Why does this—" Matthew's voice trailed off.

Jaffar hummed into Matthew's neck, the vibrations having a soothing effect. He pulled back to caress Matthew's face.

Matthew leaned in, and kissed Jaffar. Jaffar took to it fast, and kissed back. His tongue explored Matthew's mouth, as he noted how Matthew reacted to each spot. He rubbed his tongue more on those areas, and heard Matthew whimper.

They pulled back, and Matthew stepped away, horrified at what he had done.

"I need to sleep," Matthew said.

Jaffar tried to touch him, but Matthew jerked away. He looked at Jaffar like he was poison.

Jaffar didn't understand, but left anyways. He looked back at Matthew, and saw him go to bed.

* * *

Matthew scratched his arm. It felt like there was something all over him that he couldn't get off. He needed a bath. He needed to scrub off all the dirt off until he bled.

No, it wouldn't work. He knew that, yet he scratched himself anyways. He was weak. He had no right to be feeling this way. He wasn't the victim.

He had spat on her grave, soiled her memory. He had kissed her killer, hugged him, cried on him.

And fell in love with him.

It was his grief, he reasoned. It wasn't because Jaffar's eyes lit up when you showed him kindness, nor was it because Jaffar fixated on certain things that he thought were important, including people. It wasn't because sometimes he took things too literally, and ended up in strange situations. Matthew didn't love those things.

And he wasn't attracted to Jaffar. His eyes that shot through Matthew didn't send shivers down his spine. And he had hair that was thick and looked rough, but instead was soft like a bunny. His hands were rough and firm, so they shouldn't be so soothing to Matthew.

"Are you okay?" Mark said, observing Matthew.

Matthew froze, before acting his part, and giving Mark a thumbs up.

Mark eyed Matthew, their mind working silently. He smiled at Matthew after awhile.

"I think Leila would want you happy."

Matthew stopped, his mask cracking a little, before clenching his fists on his lap. He stayed silent, before walking away.

* * *

Mark's words repeated in his ears. He knew that deep down, Mark was right, and yet he couldn't accept it. He didn't deserve to be happy. It was his fault she died.

Not Jaffar's.

This information dropped like a bomb. It was his fault she died. He could have persuaded her not to leave. If he had, this wouldn't have happened. He was angry at Jaffar, when he should be angry at himself.

He was pathetic, passing the blame. All that stuff about not being able to grieve was just him hiding his guilt.

Matthew idly touched his knife, before an idea came to his head. He pulled the knife out of its sheath, before aligning it to his neck. It's not like anyone would care. The world was better off.

He felt the knife knocked from his hand, and was thrown to the ground. He looked up, and saw Jaffar, with a terrified expression on his face.

"Why?" He asked, and Matthew chuckled.

"Why do you think?"

Matthew pushed Jaffar away, and grabbed his knife, just as he was about to do it, his hand was stopped by another's.

But it wasn't Jaffar's.

Jaffar took the opportunity to grab Matthew's knife. His thoughts were on Matthew's safety. He didn't care about the being standing next to him.

As quickly as she came, she disappeared, though, Matthew didn't feel a sense of loss. He felt sad, but also happy.

Matthew hugged Jaffar. He smiled in Jaffar's neck.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," Jaffar replied, not even hesitating, though, he wondered what changed in Matthew.

Right now though, they focused on being happy.


End file.
